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Challenge of chronic illness and romance...

Long term committed relationships as well all know do not come easy and take a willingness to learn, grow and work together through life issues. However, for those of us with chronic illness - there are an entire set of obstacles beyond the normal stressors of a long term romantic relationship if one person is sick, and one person is healthy. It is often challenging for the healthy person to fully understand the physical and emotional strain of the illness on their partner, and to warmly embrace their limitations, things like simply house chores, and running of household errands can often become major areas of contempt as the healthy person is often left to do more than their fare share, and this gets multiplied by 100 if the couple have children. The person living with the chronic illness may struggle with feelings of guilt, and ineptitude on a revaluation basis, wishing they could do more to help their partners, and support their home, they may struggle with jealously of their partners healthy body and ability to do things they wish they could do like go to the gym and exercise, work outside of the home, go on social outings with friends.


Planning events with friends and family can often be a very strained situation as the person with chronic illness may not be able to travel to attend, or may only be able to visit for a short time cutting everyone’s time short for the family. Then there are often additional strains when it comes to finances as the chronically ill person will often not be able to be gainfully employed like their health partner creating yet another place for difficulty in balancing the relationship. Meanwhile, the healthy partner may find themselves struggling with feelings of jealously that they are out working 40, 50, 60 hours per week while their partner though dealing with chronic illness, gets to stay home.

These are only a FEW of the additional challenges placed on a relationship between someone living with chronic illness and a healthy partner, and during my 16 years living with illness, I have learned there are many many more.The biggest lessons I have learned is if you are chronically ill and you want to be in a relationship you had better be willing to work 10 times as hard as that relationship you need to take the responsibility to always be the one to communicate first versions advocate for your needs but also constantly focus on what your partner needs seek help from therapists who specialize in family relationship conflicts search out others in similar positions you can talk with and search for support groups you must be willing to TALK TALK TALK tons of communication constantly and be willing to be the one to start the hard conversations it will not be easy on either person but in the end it can be amazing and worth every ounce of effort as much as chronic illness is a burden it can also be a gift to teach in men's compassion patience and importance of love and commitment no matter what life throws your way


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