The nature of my chronic illness has many times left me in very vulnerable positions needing help from those in my life in all ways, physically, emotionally, or financially. Being in this state of vulnerability while very hard, has also offered me the view into the beautiful selfless, giving, loving, nature of people who have been there for me through everything, and lended whatever support they could give. How many times I have needed the stable shoulder of a loved one to help me walk to the bathroom during a bout of severe illness, or needed someone to push me in my wheelchair while and about in the world, how many loving home-made meals have been made and delivered to me while I lay stretched out across the couch doing all I could to get through the miserable hours.
On the flip side however, I have seen the worst in people, either the stranger who makes a rude comment about my disability to me out in public, the acquaintance who has no interest in talking with me any longer now that I am disabled/sick, the many friends who stopped spending time with me or reaching out once I could no longer go out and do all the fun things, the times when even the BEST people in my life had their moments when they broke, and the continual pressure of my needs brought out the worst of themselves for a day, perhaps a week, a few months or longer.
I have learned from these experiences that while life for the chronically ill is hard, life for our friends, spouses/partners, and family can also be very hard. While it is not okay to accept poor treatment from those you love, it is okay to accept that they are human and while they love you so much and want only the best for you, they may have their moments, or days, or periods of time where they are not their best selves, but in those times, try to be patient and understanding, and reflect on all the times they have shown up for you and been their best selves for you, and give yourself and them some beautiful grace.
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