11 years ago, I was diagnosed with mitochondrial disease, and told my illness is fatal, however that I also could not be given a prognosis. The first several years, I was wracked with anxiety and stress of the unknown. I was plagued with feelings of total defeat, and routinely struggling to face what I was told lay ahead of me.
Then, I became determined that I would ‘beat’ my illness through dedicated research, good nutrition, lifestyle, exercise regimens, I would somehow stop the progression of the disease. However valiant,
my efforts could not beat my illness.
The past few years I have found a more even road for which I am thankful. I have even found a lot of beauty in my situation with the fatal no prognosis diagnosis. I have learned to live as passionately and purposefully as possible, being reminded every single day how fragile life is and how utterly precious it is. I can now flow easily between focusing on my daily to do lists, and my weekly agenda, but also picturing what life will be like for my loved ones when I am no longer on this earth. I balance between working on my goals in life as if I still have a lifetime of time to achieve them, and also being sure I truly live each day to my fullest not knowing how many I will have remaining. I actually truly do take the time to drink in all the small things in life, the fat bumblebee dancing around on a flower, the new buds of life on the plants and trees in the spring, the taste of a special home-made sweet, and treasure the time spent with those I love like never before.
Ultimately, all of us actually have this same diagnosis in life, none of us will get out of this thing called life alive, and we do not know when our day to leave will come, instead of just barreling through life and sticking our heads in the sand not wanting to look at the realty of what comes in the end, there is a true power, peace and beauty which can come from learning to live with a light grip on life, being willing and understanding not to get too attached to these things we call our human bodies, because one day we will step out of them and move onto our new home.
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