I have a fiercely independent spirit, I left home and moved to a foreign country at the age of 18 with nothing but myself and my cat! I then worked my way through college completely unaided by my parents, began my career, as well as created my 1st business and began investing into real estate. By age 24 I had gone from a teenager living at home in a trailer park to making 80k per year, and I owned my first duplex!
Then, only a couple years later my chronic health challenges hit full force, and over the past now 16 years I have gone from that indecent self-sufficient young woman to a woman who needs assistance to get through each and everyday even at the most basic of levels like grocery shopping, changing the sheets to my bed, and cooking food for myself.
This has been an insanely hard transition for me and my personality type, and I am not going to lie, there have been many, many a dark moment as my body progressively cost me my independence… even leaving me contemplating suicide at one point.
While it is still a struggle, I now practice DAILY to see the beauty in the path my life has taken, where I have lost independence, I have gained a chance to watch where other people, friends, family, neighbors, sometimes perfect strangers, have stepped up to help me in my need. I have gained a better appreciate for every little thing I can do… cooking dinner is no longer a chore I wish I could escape form, but an honored blessing I thank God for the ability to do that day if I have it. It has gained me a deeper love of life as I continue to feel the deep fragility of this human body and the preciousness of it all. I have gained a deep lasting ability for compassion and empathy towards others unlike anything I ever had known before. Best of all, I have gained a new perspective of the gift of being vulnerable and humble in this life, I have found incredible strength and power in both vulnerability and humility like no amount of status, cars, clothing, jewelry, or wealth could have ever offered me.
I know it is hard, I know your struggle, I see you, and you are not alone… but it is all going to be okay.
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