Our human lives opposite on routines and schedules. Everything from the scheduled days our trash is due to be picked up at home, or the time school starts for your children, or the time you are expected to be at work each day. This is one of the most challenging aspects of my life living in a body with chronic illness, and the most stressful! Myself personally, I love routines, I like schedules, I like having planned events, to-do-lists, and having the comfort of expecting what I will be doing when on any various time of day. However, my body is not agreeable to this life, and any routines or schedules at all! In fact the only thing I can truly rely on is that I will need a nap everyday somewhere between the hours of 2pm - 5pm or there will be a serious price to pay!
I have days when I am able to get up, care for my pets, clean up my kitchen, put in a load of laundry, take the dog for a short walk and shower and dress before needing to rest. I might then be able to do a few hours of computer work, and even cook dinner and I might even be able to join my virtual support zoom call that day… then there is the other days when I wake up and I am barely able to make myself breakfast, and can hardly walk, and I am so sick and exhausted that I am passed out again by 10 am. The days, I can do nearly nothing productive at all due to profound fatigue, frequent viral illness, and wide-spread pain which overwhelms me from my legs to my eyeballs.
I do my best each day to wake up with the appreciation of the new day, and to stay very mindful and present in each moment without too many expectations. I have studied and practiced a lot of Buddhist meditations which have helped me out tremendously. After so many years now living with chronic illness, I have taught myself to say “it is okay”, wether I am having a ‘good day’ or a ‘bad day’ either way it is okay, I am okay, my life is okay. It may be hard, it may be stressful and challenging to live with a compromised body in a world filled with expectations and demands of schedules and commitments, but I have made it this far and I will be okay, and you will be as well!
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