Some chronic conditions are not LINEAR… it is hard for people to understand… but conditions like mine (mitochondrial disease) are VERY up and down. I have ‘better days’ where I can walk without mobility aids (crutches, walker wheelchair)… I can do physical therapy, I can make myself a meal, do the dishes/laundry… be a fairly normal functioning human. Then there are also “acute illness days” and these days can range form me needing to use my walker or wheelchair to get around all day… to not barely being able to move at all or leave the house… or even spending the entire day confined to my bed wracked with severe pain or fatigue leaving me desperately un-able to even care for my basic needs.
I get it… it is HARD for other’s not living with a variable chronic condition like this to understand, and it may seem very extreme and trust me IT IS! It causes so much frustration, anxiety, suffering and depression for someone in my situation because I am a un-willing passenger on this crazy roller-coaster of up’s and down’s in my health and I have no choice to get off the ride.
The best I can do is plan each day and HOPE I can accomplish the main things I need to do, and just accept with radical equanimity that ultimately, my body decided EVERYTHING I will do in each day, not me.
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