It took me a lot of years to learn this lesson. I learned to quit putting my precious energy into trying to get people in my life to understand my chronic illness. I only inadvertently added to my daily burdens and took from my already small precious handful of energy.
What I have learned is if someone in your life truly wants to be there for you, to be supportive and loving and compassionate, they will come to you, they will reach out to you and ask you what you are going through, they will ask to learn more, they will ask to come to doctor appointments with you, or support groups, they will BE there with you and for you. You can try all you’d like, but unless or until a person is really ready and willing to be there for you and show up for you, you are just spinning your wheels and sharing your words onto deaf ears. Better to direct your energy towards nurturing the few precious relationships you have with the people who truly do want to know what life with chronic illness is like for you and who will be there for you through it all.
This doesn’t mean that the other people are bad, or that you need to remove them form your life. Just understand people are all different and everyone has different capacities for what they can handle at any point in their lives, that friend that you thought would be there for you and who has gone silent doesn’t meant that they don’t still care about you, but for whatever the reason they just don’t have it in themselves to face what you are facing with you. Perhaps they will in time, perhaps they never will, but as hard as that is, understanding that, and living in the reality of that will actually bring you clarity of how to move about your life.
Comentarios