If you’ve become so challenged by your chronic illness that you become unable to work full time any longer… dealing with your chronic illness IS now your full-time job!
I became too sick to work full time gainful employment in 2011 and was awarded SSDI in 2012. For the next several years I remember feeling this desperate pressure to continue to try to work as much as my peers to avoid appearing lazy, or like I was malingering, or worst of all being judged that I was abusing the system.
Although despite my best efforts, I still never managed to work more than about 25 hours per week and never managed to even make the maximum allowed earned income while receiving disability pay, I beat my mind and body down to the bone in an attempt to prove myself to myself and others. Now mind you it wasn’t all for nothing, I was able to achieve additional certifications which led me to be able to help touch a lot of animals and peoples lives in a positive way through my work and that is wonderful, but I cost myself so much undue pain and suffering both physical and emotional along the way, along with alienating so many people in my life because I was always too busy for them.
At some point many years into my now decade and a half journey living with chronic illness, I came to a huge revelation and began to look at things differently.
I realize now that once I became too sick to work full time gainful employment, at that moment my full time job actually became managing my chronic illness! So while I was pushing myself like an insane person for years to work as much as possible, I was actually working a full time job of managing my chronic illness, while working a part time job, all while sick! No wonder I completely burnt out!
My days today I hold a much different, much healthier mind-set around everything in my life. I no longer worry what others may think of me nor their judgements. I start each day with an attitude of my health will receive the bulk of my energy each day, doing everything I possibly can to help care for my bodies needs, and my part-time work takes second place in my priorities, and today I am much healthier and happier for deprioritizing my life!
