Oh my dear chronic illness/disability warriors… I KNOW this is a truly hard thing to avoid! It is so easy to do, to judge ourselves now compared to where we used to be, or what our bodies used to be able to do.
For years, I watched as my body slowly declined and if I would go on a bike-ride, I would mentally compare to how I used to be able to go much further, 6 months previous, or when I had to give up biking and could only walk, I compared how far I could now walk my dog, versus the months, previous, and today, it is watching myself struggle to walk even 5 minutes, and the fact that I often have to use the assistance of a mobility aid just to accomplish that.
I GET IT! It is so easy to look back and see what we are missing now, and where our health journey has taken us. I can only tell you that it is worth the mental effort to put an end to this habitual looking-back. For years now I have been training myself to redirect these negative thoughts when my mind hones in on a comparison of then and now. Am I always successful about it, no, do I sometimes linger in it and let myself have a mini pity-party, yes, but in general I have promised myself now to look ahead, not to look back. Focus on the day today, where I am now, what I am able to do with my day today in this moment to achieve things in my life, and to live with purpose, and I make reasonable, bite-sized goals frequently which I can obtain despite my bodies new abilities.
The path is hard, but the effort is worth it!
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