One of the GREATEST lessons chronic illness life has taught me is to be wildly, massively, insanely vigilant over where I am spending my energy! I have so few spoons to start each day with and they are absolutely precious to me so I am conscious about every ounce of energy I give to something.
This has been extremely challenging through the years and often very painful as I have had to let go of many things I dearly loved like spending additional energy to decorate for holidays, energy spent baking or cooking extravagant meals (I still cook and bake but it is much simplified), energy spent going places I loved to, but do not need to like going out to dinner, going to the movies, going clothes shopping… these are great things don;t get me wrong, but for me it is much worth conserving the energy and eating a quiet meal at home, watching a movie from my couch, and clothes shopping online, so I can reserve my energy for other things I need to do for my self-care and my work.
Many things I have cut out through the years however have been a blessing to me and I am happy I was forced to change in this way because I am better, my life is better because of it. I cut out useless scrolling on social media, I cut out people who were toxic and draining, I cut out drama, and gossip, I cut out watching the news, and most politics, I stick to specifically researching individual candidates prior to voting, I cut reading entertainment magazines, I cut out perfectionism, being overly busy just to be busy, and this one is a continual struggle, but I everyday I practice cutting out stress, because stressing and worrying is such a waste of precious energy.
My life in general is so much more peaceful and balanced now that I am vigilant about what I give my physical and mental energy to, and should I ever be blessed to recover my health, I am going to certainly going to continue to hold my energy as my most precious commodity.
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